It is easy to get distracted. Whether the ideas come from a great book everyone is reading, from a high energy conference you just attended, or an especially inspiring leadership forum in which you participated, we are always coming across potential “silver bullets.”

However, great leaders have discovered that sustainable success in their business is usually not the result of extraordinary bursts of performance, but rather the ability to do the simple things well on a consistent basis. The same is true for successful leadership.

I still remember when a former boss of mine said to our leadership team that we needed to find a way to transition from depending on extraordinary people to do extraordinary things, to depending on ordinary people to do ordinary things consistently and with excellence.

Recently I wrote about the importance of relationship in leadership – the idea of leading people, not things. This is one thing that we, as leaders, must do consistently and with a high degree of skill. Today we begin unpacking that idea by looking at the simple aspect of building and maintaining strong relationships through daily conversations.

A FIRM FOUNDATION FOR RELATIONSHIP

Maybe you’re thinking, “Are you kidding? Building and maintaining relationships is NOT simple.” I agree that people and relationships can be dauntingly complicated when one looks at the big picture. However, most successful relationships can be built and maintained using relatively simple building blocks…the smaller, more incremental pieces of the puzzle.

Consider communication as one small piece. As a business leader and ministry leader, I have found that the most common reason for relationships that are struggling is poor communication. Many factors play into a relationship, but the ability to be heard and understood by one another is the ultimate bottom line.

Your ability to properly engage in the ordinary conversations of everyday life with your team members or stakeholders will be a critical building block in your relationship with them and your success as a leader.

TURNING POINT

A number of years ago I participated in a 360° evaluation process at work. Upon receiving the results I was surprised and shocked to find out that my staff didn’t feel heard. Thankfully, my staff was willing to give me additional, direct feedback, and that opened the door to new possibilities in our relationships.

My willingness to engage with them and listen to them literally changed my career forever. Are you really hearing what your followers are saying? Do they feel that they are being heard? Below are a number of tips that I have learned over the years that will enable you to truly hear what your followers are saying and build stronger relationships. And, don’t think that this is limited to the workplace. Implementing these same principles at home can be just as effective, and even more important.

INTENTIONAL LISTENING

1. Be intentional about being completely present in your daily conversations with them. This takes some practice, especially for those of you with very active minds. You must learn how to shut off the conversations in your head and focus on this conversation, as a listener.

2. Mute or turn off your smartphone and/or put your desk phone on Do Not Disturb. Phones are great at the proper time. Now is not that time. Turning them off is best, because even the vibration from a muted phone can be a big distraction.

3. Turn away from the computer (or close the lid) and face the person. This was the big one for me. I thought I was really listening. However, my propensity to stay facing my computer while turning my head to listen to them screamed at them, “I can’t wait until you leave so I can get back to my important work.”

4. Don’t allow interruptions. If you have an office door, close it. If someone tries to come in, politely tell them they will have to come back at a more appropriate time.

5. Periodically reflect back to the person what you heard them say. This allows you to check for understanding and assures them that you are listening. It can also be very powerful and clarifying for them to hear someone else feed back to them what they have been saying.

After hearing from my staff members, I began implementing some of the items listed above and the difference was phenomenal. It took intentional, consistent effort to establish new habits, which wasn’t always easy. But, it was well worth the effort to see the resulting success in my professional relationships.

Question: What is one thing you can do today to practice intentional listening in your daily conversations? Share your answer in the Comment section.

Seize the day!